Compassion in Schools Should Come Before Discipline

Compassion in schools should not be a bonus — it should be a basic rule. Educators and school staff often focus on discipline. When students arrive late or break rules, they’re given punishment right away. But rarely does anyone stop and ask: “Why?”

A recent incident has brought this issue into the spotlight. It revealed how missing one small question can harm a student — not just emotionally, but physically too.

One Morning, One Mistake, One Collapse

It happened on what seemed like a normal school day. A student walked into the campus late — around 8:20 AM. According to school rules, students who arrive late must clean part of the school.

No one asked the student why he was late.

No one asked if he had eaten breakfast.

Instead, a member of the school guidance office told him to floor-wax the entire ground floor hallway. This task was done under the heat of the morning sun. The student followed orders without complaint.

He hadn’t eaten. He hadn’t even showered. He was just running late.

He spent 30 minutes cleaning an area the size of two classrooms. By the time he climbed the stairs to his third-floor classroom, he was drenched in sweat. Minutes later, he collapsed.

His Classmates Stepped In

His classmates rushed to help. One gave him water — he drank three full cups. They helped him change clothes, gave him food, and took him to the school clinic.

That’s when the truth came out.

He worked every night after school. He sold eco-bags in Cogon just to support his family. He usually got home around 10 PM, ate dinner, washed dishes, and slept at 1 AM. He had to wake up by 5 AM for school.

This meant he was surviving on only four to five hours of sleep every night.

He never told anyone because he feared they wouldn’t believe him. He didn’t want to sound like he was making excuses.

But what this student needed wasn’t a punishment.

He needed compassion.

Empathy in Education: A Must, Not a Choice

This story shows how much empathy in education is needed. Every student has a story. Many are carrying silent struggles — working, helping at home, dealing with emotional pain.

If teachers and school staff don’t ask, they won’t know.

If they don’t care, they may hurt the very students they’re supposed to help.

Discipline matters, but so does understanding. When a student is punished without being asked why they acted a certain way, the school misses a chance to build trust and connection.

Correct with Care

Discipline should not be about control. It should be about guiding students. The goal is not to scare them but to teach them responsibility — with kindness.

Simple acts of kindness matter: asking “Are you okay?”, giving a minute to speak, or simply listening.

Sometimes all a student needs is someone to ask, “Is everything alright?”

That small question can make a huge difference.

The Importance of Listening

In the case of the student who collapsed, no one asked him what was going on. Had someone asked, he wouldn’t have had to push himself to the point of exhaustion.

Listening is not just a skill — it’s a lifeline. When adults in schools take time to listen, they make students feel seen. That alone can change a life.

Changing School Culture with Compassion

This wasn’t just one student. Many students go through similar struggles every day. Some have part-time jobs. Others are caretakers at home. Some don’t even get enough food.

If teachers and staff continue to act on rules without first asking questions, more students may be harmed.

The school culture needs to change. There needs to be less blame and more compassion. Less punishment and more listening. Less control and more care.

What Schools Can Do

Here are five steps every school staff member can take to promote compassion in schools:

1. Ask Before Acting

Always give students a chance to explain themselves before taking action.

2. Recognize Struggles

Look for signs like frequent tardiness, tiredness, or skipped meals. These are often signals of deeper problems.

3. Create Safe Spaces

Make it okay for students to talk about their lives without fear of being judged.

4. Train for Emotional Support

Staff should be trained not just in discipline but also in emotional intelligence and student support.

5. Build Trust Daily

Show students that you care about them as people, not just as rule-followers.

Real Education Is Built on Care

A student will remember how a teacher made them feel more than what that teacher taught in class. They’ll forget a test, but they won’t forget a kind voice, a helping hand, or a warm smile.

Real learning happens when students feel safe, supported, and valued.

The student who collapsed didn’t need punishment. He needed to be asked, “Why are you late?” He needed someone to say, “Let’s talk.”

And most of all, he needed someone to say, “I care.”

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